Perhaps my favorite player of all time is the former Barcelona and Bulgaria striker/winger Hristo Stoichkov.  For the young or new to soccer, he was glorious, with suprising speed and a wonderful left foot, despite looking like he was 57 years old for his entire career.  He was European player of the year in 1994, and I will always remember this marvel of a goal against Mexico in the World Cup: a perfect counter-attacking combo of speed and power.  Jorge Campos never knew what hit him. 

What’s also great about Hristo was his spirit and confidence, something that clearly hasn’t left him.   Check out the clip below, and remember that this is a guy who not only played in the Champions League many times (where the on-field language with the referee is English), but spent several years in the MLS (For Chicago and DC).  You would think his English would be pretty good.  It isn’t.  But the best part, is that he acts like it is.  I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone speak another language this badly with this much confidence.  As you listen, please tell me what he (now a manager) is trying to say when what sounds like “too much people scum only for the pasta type” comes out of his mouth.  Thoughts?

Posted by Lazar

By now, everyone has heard enough about the amazing ridiculousness that is going on with John Terry.  In the strange case that you haven’t, it appears that the fearless leader of Chelsea and England, who is married with children, had a serious affair, (not just a hook-up, mind you) with former Chelsea/England teammate Wayne Bridge’s ex-girlfriend/baby mama.  (It’s just been announced that Terry is no longer the captain of the England Squad.

If you are American, you have probably also heard that this mirrors a situation from 1998, when then-captain of the USMNT John Harkes had an affair with USMNT striker Eric Wynalda’s wife.  You might also remember that John Harkes was controversially dropped right before the 1998 World Cup, with Steve Sampson claiming he wanted to take younger players to France.  (I was thrilled — I always thought Harkes sucked, and I thought it was time for a change.  In the end, though, the USA put in the worst performance of all 32 teams in the World Cup.)   I guess his drop was really because Harkes was screwing the top striker’s wife.  Amazing. 

I am thrilled to hear all of this.  It’s not that I’m not sad for Wynalda.  He seems like a great guy and I will never never forget som of his moments in a USA shirt — he was one of the few players in the 1990s who was a skill player, not a guy just running around really fast (in fact, running around really fast was the one thing he most certainly could NOT do.)  His performance in the 1995 Copa America in Uruguay (I was there) was enormous (three goals in the group phase), and his 1994 World Cup free kick versus Switzerland was a delight (but how Tony Meola let the Swiss score near-post in that game was the opposite).  But again, I digress.

The real reason I am happy to hear this happened, is that it shows that our squad is almost ready for the big time.  Intra-team sex scandal in England!  Ha!  We had that 12 years ago!  We are almost there!

Posted by Lazar

This week, everyone is in love with Guti’s backheel.   According to The Independent, it was “outrageous.”  According to the coach of Deportivo, Real Madrid’s opponent and victim of said backheel, it means that he should be part of the Spain squad for the World Cup.  Even more incredibly, Spanish national coach Vicente del Bosque (Vinny of the Forest), actually said that the “Backheel of God”  has opened to door for Guti to be a part of the team in South Africa.

Are you kidding me?  Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was very nice.  But I’m here to remove the large piece of wool that’s been hanging over everyone’s eyes.  THE ONLY REASON HE DID IT WAS BECAUSE HE CAN’T SHOOT WITH HIS RIGHT FOOT.   Just watch it again.  He really should shoot that ball.  But Guti, who is marvelous with his left, has never been able to do much with his weaker leg.  (In Spanish the term for a weaker leg is “pierna de palo”, sort of translate as wooden leg.  In Holland, apparently, it’s “chocolate leg,” which I guess is related to excrement.)  I think that Guti loses major points because a backheel was not the play there.  If Benzema doesn’t finish, then Madrid is still only up 0-1 away and we’d be talking about Guti like he was, say… Robinho.

It’s true that, as a Barca fan, I’m not the most objective person here.  I do, indeed, hate Guti with a passion.  But I also hate Raul.  However, when I first tried to think of a authentically wonderful backheel, this was the first that sprung to mind:

Now that my friends, is a backheel.  It was Raul’s only option, and it was absolutely perfect.  It didn’t hurt that Morientes took it like a champ, and finished well.  And what a mullet on Morientes.  Glorious.

Posted by Lazar

I just got back from a two week vacation, most of which I spent visiting my parents in Uruguay.  It was summer down there, and I spent most of my time at the beach.  It was wonderful.  Uruguay is a soccer-mad country, so there were countless games on the beach.  I got myself into a couple of juggling circles, and scouted various games of beach foot-tennis.  From my eye, the future of Uruguayan soccer looked strong — everyone played, and pretty darn well.

Then my girlfriend and I spent four days on our in Rio de Janeiro on our way back to the States.  First of all, if you haven’t been to Rio, it’s time for you to go.  Right now.  Drop your iPad tablet thingy and pack a bag (all you need are flip flops, bathing suits, and tank tops, which comprise the Rio uniform).  That city is amazing.  Great weather, great people, music everywhere, and beautiful beaches that are only minutes away on the subway or bus.  And the place is more soccer-crazy than even Uruguay.  I’ve never seen a higher concentration of people walking around in soccer jerseys (since it’s Brazil, many of them are of the sleeveless variety).  What’s nice is that it’s also the highest concentration of women wearing soccer shirts that I have ever seen. 

Garrincha: He was okaaaaay

My girlfriend and I made it out to the world-famous Maracana stadium to catch a Fluminese game in the Carioca (Rio) championship, which was awesome.  As soon as I walked through the ages, I raised my arms and screamed “Uruguay, champion, 1950!”, since Uruguay won the World Cup final there 60 years ago.  (The security guards cracked up.)  What an experience in the stadium.  Not a ton of fans (it was a small game versus Volta Redonda), but people sang throughout, at least 75 percent of fans wore team shirts, and at least 40 percent were women on children.  Just a wonderful environment.

The only problem is that all the guys wear Speedoes

What really struck me most about Brazilian soccer culture, though, was what happened on the beach.  Everyone knows that Brazilians are good at beach volleyball — volleyball courts run all along the beaches.  What is crazy, however, is that they use these same courts to play foot-volley (futevolei).  Not the way I play it, which is over a tennis (not volleyball) net, or no net at all, and allowing the ball to bounce once on each side.  They simply play it like volleyball, just without hands.  Two players on each side, covering an entire side of a volleyball court, over a regulation volleyball net: simply amazing.  Each team gets it over at least three or four times each before one of them ends up doing a vicious overhead kick over a volleyball net! to win the point.  Amazing.  And they do it wearing Speedoes, which made it feel a little like a time warp.

I’ve never seen anything like the skill on display, except in these insane videos from Thailand and Malaysia.  But since the Thais and Malays don’t actually care all that much about soccer, I think the Brazilians have the soccer world on lockdown for the forseeable future.  Not that we didn’t know that to begin with, but now at least you know why. 

Posted by Lazar

Terribly sorry for the long delay folks, and thanks for the concerns.  It was just a mix of circumstances that kept us out of cyberspace. I know many readers believe that Cass and Lazar immediately flew to Haiti top provide much-needed assistance that only we can give, but no, that isn’t true.  Cass has been up to gosh-knows-what, and I was away for my annual South American vacation to visit the parents in Uruguay, which I followed up with a short trip to Rio de Janeiro.  And let me tell you folks as simply as I can: go to Rio.  Just go.  It’s awesome.  More to come later on that trip from a soccer angle.

So, what did I miss?  Amazingly I stayed in places without televisions for my whole trip.  (Which sucks a bit, because one of my favortie parts of the trip down there is South American SportsCenter.)  I caught a few things on TV when I was down there, and this wonderful goal from Barcelona from the center circle caught my eye.  For some reason, I love goals that come straight from the restart at the center.  Take a look — was it a shot or a pass from Dani Alves?

Another funny thing about the clip is that Barca’s coach Pep Guardiola is not going to keep his sanity for too long.  I mean, rather than celebrating that his team is up 2-0, he is screaming at left-back Eric Abidal.  And why?  Well, if you watch the replay at about 0:22 of the clip, Abidal decides not to charge forward, figuring something like, “hey, this one is going down the right, these guys seem to have the situation under control.”  Clearly, Guardiola is not cool with anyone taking even a minute off.

So, what else have I missed in the past couple of weeks?  Anything interesting?

Posted by Lazar

For soccer fans, the excitement of January 1 is not that wonderful hangover, but the flurry of rumors and dealmaking news that happens once the new calendars get tacked on to the wall.  Supporters of teams that are floundering  get a chance to dream about those one or two players that will get them back on track, teams that are surprisingly in the hunt get to make that buy that says “we’re here to stay”, and leaders get to waste more money on players who probably won’t play, anyway.  Oh yeah, and Everton gets to sign Landon Donovan.

The transfer that is dominating the English sports pages. Not really.

To top it off, this is an African Nations Cup year – many good sides will be without key players for a month or so, which means that there might be some head-scratching signings made by short-term-minded coaches.  The coaches have no incentive to think anything but short-term.  It’s not their money, and they just need to win now.  Harry Redknapp is always good for these types of moves.  On the last day of this past summer’s transfer window he bought Niko Krancjar to replace Luke Modric who had just gone injured.  But now Modric is back, and although Kranjcar is a great player and had a few nice games, it’s hard to see how he’s going to get that much burn for the rest of this year. 

Buying a star in midwinter as a reaction to a short-term problem tends to be a bad idea (see Robbie Keane to Tottenham and Klaas-Jan Huntelaar to Madrid last year).  There are good winter signings that can happen, but these tend not to be of the spectacular variety. See Man City’s signing of Craig Bellamy.  (Every rule needs a good exception — in this case it’s Andre Arshavin).  Barcelona are known for grabbing an almost-over-the-hill midfielder every other year, who, for little cash, gives them that extra cover, experience and oomph.  First it was Edgar Davids, then Demetreo Albertinio, and now it might be Patrick Vieira.  Seems like a good idea to me.

Maybe it’s the economy, but I’m hearing less chatter than usual about transfers this winter.  It’s particularly surprising given that it’s an African Cup year, and that the English league is more up for grabs than ever.  Sadly, it’s hard to get excited about Serie A, what with Inter’s eight point lead.  Things are tight in Spain, but only for the top two.  But you would think that English teams would be in a free for all.  Fricking economy.

Posted by Lazar

Very interesting debut for Roberto Manciti today.  First, he continued the tradition than he began an Inter Milan of wearing a team scarf, tied with the perfect knot.  (I mean, really — if managing doesn’t work out he definitely has a career as a professional scarf instructor.)

"Stick with me and you'll be tying scarves like a champion"

Manciti correctly removed the unplayable Micah Richards from the starting lineup for Pablo Zabaleta, as well as the approaching-unplayable Wayne Bridge for Silvinho, but also left out both Craig Bellamy and Sean Wright-Phillips.  Playing Martin Petrov (a lefty) on the right for Wright-Phillips was a great idea — with Carlos Tevez as the center forward (Adebayor and Santa Cruz were out), you aren’t going to be sending in crosses for headers, so you might as well have someone naturally inclined to cut in from the wing.  Carlos Tevez was wonderful in the false center-forward role — he was involved in every attacking move. 

But Robinho in for Bellamy?  A bit of a head-scratcher.  Admittedly, Mancini did announce he was saving Bellamy for Monday’s (only slightly) tougher game away to Wolves.  You could also see him wanting to make an attempt to reclaimm Robinho, worrying that if he left the Brazilian on the bench in his first game, he might lose him forever.

Well, it appears that argument is moot — Robinho may be long gone already.  I only saw about half of the game yesterday, but he was awful.  I mean, it was almost comical how many bad touches he had — crosses, corners, shots, etc.  Even on the first goal, he is clearly attampting a shot and just shanks it dreadfully (luckily for Citeh, right into the path of Petrov).  And in the lead-up to the second goal he takes two corners, neither of which clear the first defender — just atrocious.

My question is this:  was he playing badly on purpose?  Has he thrown in the towel and is he hoping for a winter transfer?  Perhaps it’s subconscious?  Regardless, the last time I have seen someone play this surprisingly bad was… Ronaldinho.  Not today’s Ronaldinho, who we have all passively accepted is a bad player to the extent that when he makes a decent free kick or pass we all declare that he’s had a great game.  No, I’m referring to the last-year-at-Barcelona Ronaldinho, when he turned in performance after bafflingly bad performance. 

It’s hard to see how Mancini will be able to justify playing Robinho again.  It’s even harder to imagine how this is good for Robinho — you would think he wants to look good for potential suitors and, oh by the way, the World Cup is approaching.  Nobody likes a guy who turns it on and then turns it off and then maybe turns it on again.  (Except for Didier Drogba.)

Posted by Lazar

Santa Cass? Lazar is bad at photoshop.

Father Cass-mas is on his way!  It was a dogfight in the end, but Bradlingtons Gunners, managed by Kevin Bradshaw, have taken the title of year-end champions in the NMOB! Premiership Fantasy League.  Good onya, Kevin — Santa Cass will be visiting your house shortly.  (Please email us your snail mail address.)  A hat-tip to ManUTangClan owner Richard Koss (also known here as Er Pupone) for narrowly missing (by just seven little points) the chance to win the wonderful Puma beach soccer ball.

To all those toiling in midtable obscurity, fear not!  The rest of the contests to be awarded this year will be for performace over a certain period of time, so keep making those changes!  As always, it’s time to get Darren Fletcher out of your lineup!

Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, Kwanzaa, bizarre pagan ritual, and whatever you people subscribe to!  And for those non-believers, good for you for not succumbing to the corporate nightmare that is the holiday season — enjoy not wasting your money on stuff people don’t really want, anyway!

Posted by Lazar

Here at NMOB! we are not afraid to ask the tough questions and to challenge the conventional wisdom.  One of those questions that we ask ourselves a lot is whether Steven Gerrard is anywhere near as good as everyone says he is.   Conventional wisdom has it that he is a superhero. 

As I watched Liverpool’s big game against Arsenal last Sunday, I could not help thinking how bad he was: he really did not have much positive influence on the game, and he seemed to lose the ball a lot.  But let’s look at the stats. 

Above is an illustration of Stevie G’s passing against Arsenal.   He attempted 30 passes, of which only 17 were successful — that’s 56%, which is not very good.  For comparison,  let’s look at the much-maligned Lucas Leiva, who completed 32 of 35 passes — a lot better.  But you might argue that Lucas plays a more withdrawn position, and makes simpler passes.  Okay, let’s compare Gerrard to Yossi Benayoun, who often subs for Gerrard when the great man is injured, and who also played an attacking midfielder/winger role.  He attempted fewer passes (17) and but completed a much higher percentage of them (14, for 82%). 

But that’s apples to oranges, right?  Any two players on the same team will have different roles.  Okay, well let’s compare Gerrard to more attacking, central players on other teams.  Well, on the other side of the ball, Cesc Fabregas was 47 for 63, or  – woah!  Not only did he attempt more than double the passes, but he completed 74% of them.

Well, what about other stuff?  Well, let’s see: Gerrard attempted 14 tackles, of which only five were successful — a truly terrible rate.  (Lucas Leiva, made 7 successful tackles in 9 attempts.)  Just an atrocious game for Gerrard.

But Arsenal are a great team, you might say.  It’s unfair to analyze him solely in a game of such a high level.  Fair enough.  Let’s look at the week before against lowly Blackburn.  36 passes, 21 successful — yikes!  Still not very good — even when Liverpool win.  Well, maybe it was an ugly game.   Let’s compare him to some Blackburn midfielders.  Well, Brett Emerton made 28 passes, 23 of which were successful.  And Vicent Grella was 24 for 25.  This is not looking good for Gerrard.  How about the Liverpool derby a three weeks ago?  Much better for Stevie: 24 passes, 20 successful.  As for Everton’s attacking midfielder, Maroune Fellaini: 32 of 35.   Hmmn… so, who exactly is Steven Gerrard better than?

Well, at least we can all agree that Gerrard doesn’t dive.  Or maybe we can disagree about that, too…

Posted by Lazar